My Second Mother’s Day {Family}

Last year I celebrated my first Mother’s Day as a Mama and it was nothing short of a joyful day, but this day always brings so many mixed emotions as almost all exclusive holidays do for me. This one especially cause for years I felt left out of the mom “club” and I had to fight to not get angry and be still!

I still have friends and family who don’t get the chance to celebrate this day as the Mom’s they desperately long to be, even though they are mothers in so many other ways. I desperately want to hug them all and tell them how much I love them on this day. I am such an includer by nature that it hurts when I can’t FIX it, but I know I can pray. I know I can let them know I am here and I have a shoulder they can cry on and that God is working in their motherhood journey, whatever it may look like.

I mourn for Mother’s who have loss their children, children who have lost their mothers, or even birth mom’s who have given up their children. It’s life, but it’s hard. 

I also really don’t like the expectations that are placed on Dads and kids to pamper Mom and make her day perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a day of pampering and I so think they deserve it!  But if the day doesn’t go just the way a Mom has anticipated all year, than the family feels bad and it’s like they disappointed their Mom even though they were trying to show her love. I got caught up in that MESS this year! I wanted to be pampered, treated like queen, not having to lift a finger…than Hubby got sick. He tried so hard to do as much as he could and I knew he couldn’t do much. But like I said, IT IS JUST A DAY!

My husband loves me daily and tells me how much he appreciates the things I do for RJ and him. He showers me with grace and love on a daily bases. Yet, because I didn’t get pampered they way I felt I should on Mother’s day I was feeling down and mad. I had to SNAP out of it, I had to remind myself how blessed I am …and how childish I was acting (that’s been happening a lot 😉 ). I had let my expectations rule my attitude, I gave myself grace and laughed at the way I was feeling. (This is just me being real).

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It truly was a great day with family and with RJ and I was so blessed by amazing Husband who tried his very best even though he was and still is (prayers welcome) to make my Mother’s day the best! I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life to raise this beautiful child!

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Thank you God for this child I prayed for and thank you for the HOPE THAT she has brought many soon to be mamas. Being a Mother is one of the greatest things about my story God has brought us , but I realized that it’s only a part…GOD has so much in store and on Mother’s day I celebrated a piece of HIS beautiful and perfect story.

 


Comments

6 responses to “My Second Mother’s Day {Family}”

  1. Yolanda Lowmaster Avatar
    Yolanda Lowmaster

    Good morning Bobbi,

    If I were having coffee with you right now, I’d tell you how proud I am of you. The wonderful woman of God, wife and Mom that you’ve become…such a blessing and inspiration to others.

    The world always puts so many false expectations, ambitions and deadlines on us all. It’s not worth trying to keep up. After all, you already have the prize! Your health, family that adores you, a beautiful home and a community of friends that love you.

    If I were having coffee with you right now, if tell you that your Auntie loves you with all her heart:)

    Have a super blessed day sweetie! Tell Mateo that I’m praying for him. Kiss RJ for me

    Xoxo ~
    Auntie Londa

  2. What a lovely post. I should have been a mum (I’m from the UK!) this year but lost our first baby at 17 weeks in to pregnancy last year. The power of loss is like nothing else I’ve ever felt and I imagine the pain is equally as raw for women who find themselves unable to fall pregnant. I’m pregnant again and fast approaching 27 weeks. The fear is still very apparent and I pray constantly that it will work out this time around.

    My love and hugs to all those mothers. They are mothers in so many ways. My mother’s best friend never had children even though she desperately wanted them and she would have been the most wonderful mother. She’s a mother to me though. If I couldn’t reach my mother when I needed her she would be the next person I called.x

  3. Danell Avatar
    Danell

    Thank you so much for posting this. It is such a great reminder that Mother’s Day (or any day really) is just a DAY. Just a moment in time and that the experience is so much more than a moment. I was reminded to think of all the times that my husband and child express their love (daily) and how I really don’t need a day to be reminded of what I have. But I do need to be more conscious of the love and spoiling I receive throughout the year.
    Thank you again! I have been reading you blog for a few years now, and today felt the need to to respond and thank you for sharing your journey. You keep it real but manage to find the good in everything. Thank you 🙂

  4. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    Thanks for posting this. Made me feel not alone! It was my first mother’s day, and I was expecting more from my husband because I’ve been killing myself essentially not sleeping, working, and breastfeeding/pumping for the six months I’ve been a mom. But besides dinner out Saturday night (which would have likely happened regardless and I was the one who spend most of the time wrangling the baby), I did not get pampered, I didn’t even get to sleep just a little even though the baby was being particularly rough and I was so tired that I was trembly (still like that today!). Got a little acknowledgement that it was Mother’s Day, but he seemed more concerned about visiting his mom. A card or a Facebook post would have been nice. I know he’s tired too, but come on…

    I know the point is that I’m lucky to be a mom, though, and I have tried to focus on that instead.

  5. You brought up some good points I was thinking about on Mother’s Day! I feel really sad for the women who can’t bear children, who have lost children, but also the women who chose not to have children (this could be a whole blog post). Anwyho, society (my family included) puts a lot of emphasis on this day. Mom’s deserved to be treated and pampered on this day, but it is also a reminder to try to do it all the time! I do love spoiling my Momma on this day, but sometimes the budget is tight and they there is guilt if you can’t spoil them as you’d wish. Even though I know she wouldn’t mind! I’m glad you brought up all these thoughts, but still enjoyed your day! RJ and your Hubs are lucky! xoxo, ganeeban

  6. Karina Avatar
    Karina

    I am so glad you posted this. I felt the exact same this year. I still feel like I’m in a funk but, do know I need to snap out of it. 🙂